The anxiety you feel will expend the valuable energy you need to focus on things you may be able to change. Losing a partner through death or divorce likely had many factors outside your control.

My health issue was not my fault or anyone else’s. However, there may be issues over which you have no control. When a life-altering event first occurs, you may lash out and fight the change. This will help you find a new direction and purpose. Eventually, you need to face the reality of what happened, express your suffering and find a way to have hope and meaning in life again. You can’t make sense of what is happening. Momentous life events can lead to significant loss, shock and disbelief. People nearing retirement tend to do less to prepare physically, mentally and spiritually for nonfinancial surprises that can upend retirement plans. Investing in your 401(k) and lining up your workplace pension may give you a sense of security that you will be able to spend your retirement years in relative comfort. Many people prepare financially for decades before they retire. So, what happens when you finally reach your landmark retirement date and your well-laid plans are wrecked by an unthinkable event - you have a health crisis, your partner wants a divorce, you lose your house or have a significant death in your family? How do you pivot in a new direction? As a result, I had to change my well-thought-out plans. The pain left me physically incapacitated for weeks and facing possibly months of recovery or surgical repair in my future. I thought I was in fairly good health, but didn’t account for my vertebral discs silently deteriorating.

A CT scan showed I had a herniated lumbar disc. One month before I was to retire, I woke up with excruciating pain in my lower back, radiating down my left leg. I also was considering volunteer opportunities in my church and community organizations, planning to reconnect with friends I hadn’t seen in years and preparing to help my aging parents as they began to have health challenges.

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